The Memories That Still Haunt
by 3cheersforidiots
Summary: Written for the March One-Shot Exchange on HPFC, for DobbyRocksSocks. Summary: Both Draco and Harry has been suffering from the nightmares from the war, and they're trying to get through it together, every night. Rated T because... Eh.
**A/N: This one-shot is written for DobbyRocksSocks (Bex) for the monthly one-shot exchange. I tried to go for a hopeful ending, but then the character got a bit out of hand, so it turned out like this. I hope you still enjoy it though :)**

 **Word count: 1029**

 **Make it Angst of Make It Fluff Competition** : (scenario) Up all night cuddling

 **Monthly One-Shot Exchange** : For DobbyRocksSocks, (pairing) Harry/Draco, (word) Wistful, (genre) Angst

 **Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry:** Herbology Assignment #7 – Write about somebody with an emotional wound that starts to heal at a faster rate than expected (extra prompt used: (character) Harry Potter)

 **Candy from the Trolley** : Pumpkin Pasties/2 prompts/challenge: _Write about someone in the hospital. Alternately, write about someone gaining strength._

 _ **Ultimate Chocolate Frog Card Club:**_ _(Silver) Bundimun – Write about many people suffering depression together._

* * *

It was the middle of the night; the moon and the stars were shining through the window, the droplets of light beaming in the night sky. Although, the curtains on the window shielded the two people lying on the queen-sized bed from the moonlight, making the room only dimly lit.

One of the figures on the bed was sitting upright, every inch of sleep cleared from his eyes, his silvery orbs boring into the nothingness in front of him, while the other figure with the jet black hair was snoring lightly, until suddenly, he wasn't so calm anymore.

It started with almost inaudible mewls, which then turned into desperate cries, occasional flailing arms and then trashing around on his part.

"Harry," the blond whispered quietly, at first. "Calm down, it's just a nightmare," he muttered while shaking the other man's shoulders gently.

"Come on, Harry, wake up," his tone got stronger and more audible when the trashing didn't stop. "I need you to wake up; it's only in your dreams."

It took him a good few minutes of steadily nudging his shoulder while calling him out, but after some time, Harry finally woke up with a start, gasping as he sat up straight, shaking his head frantically.

"No!" he squirmed. "I didn't… Where am I? Draco?"

"Another nightmare," the blond concluded from beside him.

"Oh," Harry slumped back. "Sorry. Did I wake you up?"

"No, I wasn't sleeping anyway," Draco sighed, then waited for a few moments before continuing. "What was it about?"

"The Forbidden Forest," Harry admitted. "Again."

"It's been a while since you've dreamt about that," Draco noted. "Any reason why it's coming back?"

"I honestly don't know," Harry shook his head, then stretched his arm so that he could pull the blond closer. "How about cuddling? Maybe it'll take the nightmares away."

"I don't really believe in that, but fine," Draco sighed and put his arms around the other man, pulling him down to lay on the bed again.

"I kind of miss the days before the war," Harry mumbled with a wistful tone after a few minutes of enjoying the embrace. "I can't bear with these flashbacks for much longer."

"Back when we still hated each other?" Draco asked. "I don't know if that would be better or worse."

Harry let out a bitter laugh upon hearing that. "It doesn't matter, because we'll always have something depressing in our lives, right?"

"It sometimes comes back to me too," Draco sighed, burying his face in the other boy's hair. "And all I see are bright green curses as they come towards me; or even better, I'm the one firing them at people mercilessly. All I hear is screams, people falling into their own pool of blood in the middle of the Battle… I can still remember it crystal clear.

"I'm afraid to go to sleep, because I knew the memories would haunt me again. And look at what we've become; I can't even get myself to throw a snarky remark at anybody anymore. It'd just remind me of my old self."

"But I know you've changed for the better," Harry remarked. "It's my behaviour we should worry about."

"You could say we both have changed," Draco concluded, melancholy sipping into his voice. "But I sometimes miss it too. I didn't have to worry about anything that was to come. And I know I was stupid back then, but at least I could be blissfully ignorant."

"And now we're both stuck in the endless cycle of having to relive the past," Harry tightened his embrace. "Sometimes I wish I could just quit."

"Me too," Draco nodded.

"You know," Harry muttered again. "Sometimes I feel so alone, like no one understands what I'm going through. People say I'm the Boy Who Lived, so I should be proud of all my achievements. But I can't forget all of the sacrifices everybody made. I'm still having nightmares about them dying, about me cowardly getting out of situations I should've died in, and I see no end to it," he finished with a wavering voice as he felt a teardrop rolling down his cheek.

"Shh," Draco whispered, holding the other close. "I know it's a miserable feeling. I'm… I'm not good with feelings and such, and I know I'm probably horrible boyfriend material, but… I'm in the same boat. My father is in Azkaban, my reputation is ruined, and I just want to get away from it all."

"Maybe we could run away together?" Harry asked with a small sad smile playing on his lips.

"That's such a nice dream," Draco noted. "Better than the ones we usually have, anyway," he added bitterly.

"Maybe we should get professional help," Harry exclaimed.

"So that then people could call us freaks, right?" Draco snorted rather loudly. "But it's been getting better lately, isn't it enough? Why are we not enough to heal these goddamn emotional scars?"

"It has been getting better," Harry nodded hesitantly. "You do help me recover very fast, but at the same time, I feel like we're dragging each other deeper and deeper in this hole, and I don't know how could we crawl out of it, if nobody helps. Does that make sense?"

"Yeah," Draco agreed. "But what do you reckon we should do? I don't want to lose you, but I don't want to see your sullen face every morning either."

"I think we should have some time off," Harry concluded. "Away from each other. See if it helps. Maybe it's exactly what we need."

"Maybe you're right," Draco sighed defeatedly. "I'll… I'll leave you as much time as you want starting tomorrow. But… I'll miss you too," he admitted a bit reluctantly. "Just so you know. So that when you're going to go to sleep alone, you'll maybe think of me. I know it's selfish, but I just want you to remember me in the back of your head, even when we're apart."

"I will," Harry nodded, feeling tears dwelling up in his eyes once again. "One last night together?"

"It is," Draco nodded and pulled the man even closer, that is, if it was even possible.


End file.
